Does a heroine need a man?
So, I watched the movie “Bridesmaids” tonight. It was a hoot, and it was also a bit profound in parts. It’s tough to get left behind as our friends marry, have children etc… We women, we reach a certain age and while we may be carefree singles making our own way and our own money, we can’t help but look for someone to share that with. Or can we? I certainly can’t. Ever the optimist, I always think there is someone out there that gets me. Of course, I’m tough to get. I met a woman not long ago that has exactly what I want. She is “engaged” in the true sense of the word. She has no intention of getting married, but she is involved in a deeply committed relationship and she wears a lovely ring. They do not live together, nor do they share finances. They just share their lives. How hard is that? It sounds like heaven to me…
I have a point, I really do. As I sketch Caela to life, do I need to add a man? Does she need a commitment? I’m really not interested in having that be the focal point of her story, but does she need someone to touch? Is intimacy, physical or emotional, so important? I already know she is not going to be a “girl’s girl”. It is highly unlikely that she has girlfriends and she will certainly not be a “lady at lunch”. She doesn’t do dresses, nor does she particularly care for feminine guiles and affectations. So, where does that leave her? I truly feel that for her to be realistic, she does need to have some sexuality to her life. But to what extent? Plus, I am all over writing a juicy sex scene or two. I do not require your judgement in this… moving on.
Here’s another dimension to this little dilemma. So far, she has started her existence as an enslaved concubine in a barbarous court. There’s more to it than that, but we’ll leave it there for simplicity’s sake. (Perhaps this post is out of order to some others in the future and I’m confusing you… apologies.) She’s been there for a long time though. She, for sure, had what we call Stockholm Syndrome today. Does that effect her future? Her judgement towards potential mates? I would like her to be as particular as I am, honestly. But then, she would likely be at home on a Saturday night, blogging and writing.
Creating Caela 
How interesting! Now that I’m older (got married old too) it is tough to look back and think that was the best it was going to be as far as body and looks go. Not that I’m ogre looking, but age does change you. Since I was single for a long time, my decision (before meeting my ‘dream boat’) was that I would be happy whether or not I was with someone. I was enough and I would be happy.
I am not quite that strong, haha. I’m certainly not looking to write “Sex and the City” for the fantasy set, but I want Caela well-rounded. I know it sounds like crazy talk, but I think I’ll let her tell me what she wants to do… As you can see, I’m a not much for planning… I love a good surprise. Thanks for reading! I got some great info from your blog this morning, thanks too for that.
I’d be curious to read a story with a female lead like this. Keep at it, and I’m sure the surprises will come. Sounds like you have a great start…
I think the only thing a heroine needs is a hero…otherwise she is the only thing she needs… good luck on Caela!
Even if she doesn’t have a big commitment, she could certainly have a guy she particularly likes/lusts after. Megan Lindholm’s heroes Ki ( a woman) and Vandien (a man) define their relationship as a friendship, and also have a sexual bond.
I do think that Caela’s early experience would definitely affect the kind of judgement and taste she has in men. I found that many of the men I chose had my father’s “work first, woman second” attitude to life, but expected a “man first, work second” attitude from their women.