Wherein the writer discusses fear of failure (or success…)


Here we go again.  I know!  I’ll not write for like 4 months.  Yeah, that’s a great plan…I’ll go with that.  Anyway, so many things have happened since my last post.  My computer totally and utterly passed on to the next world.  And as you know from my last post, my backup system was not exactly a thing of technological wonder or a thing that was even used as it should have been..neither here nor there.  I live, I learn.  This new computer though is most spiffy and fancy and I am over all rather excited about the whole thing.

Also, my pity party continues.  And I must say, it is a load of bullshit.  It makes me wonder if perhaps medication is not on the horizon, to be honest with you.  I know damn well that things are not as they should be and that I am using this crap as a reason (excuse) for not functioning as I should be and it’s really starting to make me sick.  At the same time, I feel a bit unsure how to fix this thing on my own.  Therapy is very expensive, but my neighbor works at a grass roots wellness center and that may be a possibiltiy.  As I sit and ponder what became of my life, I like to think that Caela may be doing the same.

She sits, waiting.  Most of her is still in the old hard drive waiting to be extracted.  I hope she is not holding her breath…  Anyway, I have been thinking quite a bit about this wee little story and where it needs to go, or if it even needs to come out of the hard drive to begin with.  Maybe…just maybe, things happen for a reason.  Perhaps it’s time to rethink things and mosey on down that path to new things and better things.  Perhaps Caela was a bit of a priss?  Perhaps she was boring and uninteresting?  Or, big or…I have not been holding myself responsible.  Oh, look!  It’s 4am.  I’ll return tomorrow and ramble on a bit more for your amusement then.


~ by caelascreator on July 7, 2012.

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